Meltdown Town

My laptop is having problems.  I keep getting the swirly beach ball.  My time machine won’t back up and hasn’t since Nov 17.  I take my laptop, a macbook pro purchased less than two years ago, to the so- called genius bar at the apple store.  I call the genius bar the kiss and cry area of the store.  You go there and either they press a button and run a quick test and declare your computer is perfect now, or you go and after much conferencing with several crew members mumbling mumbo jumbo you cannot interpret they say, “Oh, yeah, your hard drive isn’t even starting with our handy gadget here (or something more important sounding.) You have a problem.”  In the case of my macbook pro after running several tests my genius guy gave me this validating news. “The good news is you’re not crazy.  There definitely is something wrong with your computer.”  Oh happy day.  Could you pass this info on to all my ex-boyfriends, the part where you mention I’m not crazy?

“What does this mean?” I stupidly ask.  My genius looks at me like, “Duh.  It means there is something wrong with your computer, and even though I am called a genius here at the apple store i am not smart enough to figure this out but I am not going to give you the pleasure of hearing my internal thoughts on my self esteem issues.”

Instead my genius guy says “I suggest an erase and reinstall.”

Gasp. ERASE AND REINSTALL!  It’s soooo…. drastic.

“But can’t we reinstall the software and have you do it this time.  Like you said, I may have messed it up.”  I beg, adding hopefully, “Maybe it has to do with my new three in one printer since it kept crashing when I was trying to use the scanner. How about you show me how to unistall that?”  And, desperate now,  “Can I buy one of your half tera drives and back it up right here and have you fix it today?”

My genius guy, somewhat testy now and you can tell because he is smiling, “Look that’s gonna take at least an hour and a half. The truth is we could try fifty different things, but an erase and reinstall would solve the issues.  All you have to do is back it up, and bring it back.”  “To this location?” “Try and do it within the week.  I’ve already ordered the parts.”

I was so depressed I didn’t even want to buy shoes with my Macy’s coupon. I didn’t even want to buy shoes.

This was over two weeks ago.

The problem is my time machine isn’t working and I couldn’t get the external hard drive I bought at target to work either. I cannot back up, and I cannot move forward until I back up. I have reached a proverbial brick wall. I know, I know, I should just call apple care, but those people make me feel stupid.  They keep me on the phone forever and have me redo things I already did.  As much as I love my new android phone I don’t love it enough to be on it all day with apple care.

I can’t help thinking that the time machine not working relates to my upcoming high school reunion. With the help of my failing electronics I have reverted back to a time before laptops and androids and cell phones and even answering machines to a land that time forgot; the 1980’s.

In addition to my scanner issues, the time machine and the swirly beach ball, my iPad has totally died on me. Maybe it’s just as well.  I’ll get a new one.  This will be a relief since everytime someone sees my iPad they ask me “Is it the new one?”  Every time.  I am tired of defending it. “Really I only got it seven months ago.” So embarrassing.

My first generation iPad is like an old boyfriend now and I am bored with him.   I want the new one where you can edit your iMovies on it and it has an app for the track dimmers.   The new iPad is slimmer and more cool and comes in different colors and drives a baby blue camero.

It’s a holiday weekend and none of this will be dealt with until next week.  Let’s hope my android holds up, because it may be my only link to 2011 for now.


About furryosity

I am a writer, actor, artist and storyteller. I was a stand-up comedian for a bit but gave it up in pursuit of storytelling, a format that is more suited for my rambling communication style. As a child I was afraid of animals probably because my mother was afraid of them messing up the house. Needless to say we never had pets except fish. I won a goldfish at the school fair by throwing a ping pong ball into a little bowl with a fish in it. After this traumatic beginning my goldfish aptly named Poppy would try and pop out of the bowl, which is how she ultimately met her demise. I currently live with two beautiful cats, Babaloo and Gremlin, and a plethora of lamps, couches and nesting tables in my mid-century modern furnished apartment in West Hollywood, California.

Posted on July 1, 2011, in high school, technology. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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